Always Leaving, Never Staying
by Phanstarlight
Summary: Trubel was always the one who had to leave. Everyone else, all her friends and family, always got to stay together while she was pulled away. But not this time; Trubel was determined that this time would be different. But sometimes, nothing can stop the will of Fate. Not even a Grimm. Post-show, major character death.


**Everyone ready for some sadness? As always, I don't own any rights to Grimm. Enjoy!**

It was always her. She was always the one who had to leave. Everyone else- all her friends, her family- stayed together no matter what came their way. But Trubel was the one who was forced to go. It didn't matter what it was; the Resistance, Hadrian's Wall. Something would always pull her away from the people she cared about most. But not this time. This time, regardless of what happened next, she was not leaving them; not again. She was the only one Nick told about what had truly happened after he had come back from 'The Other Place'. And she could see why he didn't want to tell anyone else; she couldn't even imagine having to actually live through all of that. But now they were all safe. Zerstörer was dead, Black Claw had been destroyed, and everything could return to normal. But that in itself worried Trubel, since her version of 'normal' seemed to be always leaving and never staying. So it was both unsurprising and yet painfully bittersweet when Nick approached her one day, about two weeks after everything had settled down again.

"So, where are you off to next?" he asked innocently, since even he had come to expect that she wouldn't- or couldn't- stick around for too long.

"Actually, I was hoping I could stay around for a little longer. If that's alright with you, of course" Trubel said hesitantly. The initial surprise on Nick's face was something Trubel had been prepared for. But what she hadn't been expecting was for him to then pull her into a tight hug.

"You're always welcome here. You should know that by now" Nick whispered in her ear.

"Are you sure?" Trubel asked tentatively, pulling away slightly.

"Of course" Nick smiled, squeezing her shoulder reassuringly.

"Thank you" Trubel managed to say, pulling Nick back into a hug and burying her head against his shoulder. Finally, she could be the one who stayed.

Nick offered for Trubel to stay with him, Adalind, Diana, and Kelly for a while to which she agreed gratefully. As much as she wanted to stay with them, she hadn't really thought about where she was going to go. She had been a little wary around Adalind at first; she hadn't had much time to get to know the 'new' Adalind with everything else that had been going on. But soon the two of them settled down and even began forming the beginnings of what could be called a friendship. Her connection with Diana seemed to be a little more distant but as long as Adalind liked her, Diana seemed to like her too. But to Kelly, Trubel became an honorary big sister. She was a little awkward around him at first as babies had always freaked her out a little- what if she broke him? But they quickly warmed to each other's presence and seeing Trubel laying on her back with Kelly sat on her stomach or the two of them laughing and playing together became a rather regular occurrence- something Nick found absolutely adorable to watch.

After that, Trubel settled down quickly and eventually she managed to find an apartment of her own to live in. It wasn't much, but it served her well. She never strictly speaking had a housewarming but Nick offered to come over and help her move in any way.

"I didn't even realise how much stuff I have until now" Trubel mused, helping Nick carry boxes over from the moving van.

"The Fome is going to look kind of bare without all this cluttering up the place" Nick teased and Trubel half-heartedly glared at him in reply. It took a while, but eventually everything was in her new apartment and the moving van drove away. The two of them collapsed down onto the couch as the sun began to set.

"I've got to unpack all this now" Trubel realised, staring at the piles of boxes in front of her.

"Yeah, good luck with that" Nick chuckled, glancing over at Trubel's exhausted expression. Suddenly, Nick's phone began to ring. Trubel turned her head to watch him as he answered. The call didn't last long and he quickly turned his attention back to her.

"That was Hank, he says we've got a case not far from here. If we leave now, we'll probably get there before him" Nick explained.

"We?" Trubel raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"I figured you'd want to come along" Nick smiled and Trubel rolled her eyes- he really did know her too well. Within minutes, the two of them were out the door, in Nick's car, and driving down the street.

Little did they know that single phone call would change everything.

As they drove, Nick explained to Trubel what they were heading towards. A few days previous, a man had been taken into custody under the suspicion of murdering his wife. Nick had suspected he was Weson but was having no luck with trying to figure out what exactly he was. Now the man had escaped but Hank had managed to track him down to an abandoned warehouse nearby which was now where they were heading. Nick soon pulled over at the end of the road and the two of them got out of the car. Trubel could see the warehouse at the top of the road in the distance. She turned to Nick to say something to him but he quickly held up his hand and she stayed silent. She glanced down the now dark street until she suddenly realised why Nick had silenced her- there were footsteps coming towards them from further up the road. Nick silently signalled over to her and the two of them quickly pressed themselves against the wall, hiding in the shadows as the footsteps came closer. Then all of a sudden, it fell quiet and Trubel found herself holding her breath. Nick shuffled closer to the end of the wall and glanced around the corner. He paused when he looked around to see that the man had seemingly disappeared. Trubel looked down the other end of the street but saw nothing. Suddenly, a deafening gunshot ripped through the air. For a moment, everything was still. Slowly, as though she was afraid of what she might see, Trubel turned around. That was when she saw Nick lying on the floor, his hand clutching at his side as blood dripped down his fingers. As soon as the man saw what he had done, he glanced at Trubel before turning and running down the street. Trubel wanted to run after him but all she could do was stare at Nick's bleeding body as she stepped forward and fell to her knees beside him.

"H-He was going to shoot you" Nick managed to whisper and Trubel felt her heart clench in her chest.

"So you took a bullet for me?" Trubel muttered, though her voice was more full of fear than of anger. She wrapped her arms around Nick's waist and gently pushed down on his wound. Nick groaned in pain as his whole body tensed.

"It's okay, I'm just trying to stop the bleeding" Trubel whispered shakily. Quickly, she fumbled with her phone until she managed to call an ambulance.

"Hello?" the voice on the end of the phone radiated a sense of practised calm.

"My friend has been shot in the side, above the hip. He's a detective at Portland Precinct. He's still breathing but I have no idea how deep the bullet has gone. We're on the corner of Penbrooke Road" Trubel spoke so quickly that she was surprised all her words had come out in the correct order.

"Okay, an ambulance will be there as soon as they can"

"Thank you" Trubel said before hanging up, carelessly throwing her phone to the side, and turning her focus back to Nick. They stayed quiet for a few moments longer before she felt Nick slouching in her arms.

"Nick?" Trubel's voice was laced with fear as she shook the body in her arms. He regained consciousness but could barely keep his eyes open. He was fading and Trubel knew it.

"Stay with me. Please, I need you to stay awake for just a little bit longer. An ambulance will be here any minute now. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you" Trubel's voice rose in pitch as she felt Nick's body growing heavy and for the first time in a long time, she had no idea what to do. Her mind was so clouded by fear that all other thoughts disappeared. Her heart began to race; she couldn't lose Nick. Not now... not ever.

"Goodb-" Nick started to say.

"No, not yet. You don't get to say goodbye yet" Trubel instantly cut him off and Nick found himself smiling sadly at the urgency in her voice. Slowly, he reached up and weakly brushed a tear from Trubel's cheek.

"Come on, don't let the last thing I see be you crying over me" Nick half joked, letting out a huffed laugh.

"I am _not_ letting you die here. Not after everything we've been through" Trubel's voice wavered slightly because no matter what her mind told her, she knew it was already too late. She let out a shaking breath before leaning down and gently pressing a kiss to Nick's cheek.

"Thank you for everything" she whispered into Nick's ear. She felt Nick smile against her cheek for a moment before his body slumped down in Trubel's arms. Frantically, Trubel pulled back and she looked down to see Nick's motionless body lying in her arms.

"No, Nick! Come back, please. NICK!" Trubel begged, clinging to Nick's body as she willed his eyes to open. But she knew they never would; he'd never look at her or say her name or smile at her ever again. He was gone and there was nothing she could do about it. Trubel choked out a sob as she slowly wrapped her arms around Nick's body and slumped herself over him. Her tears seeped into Nick's jacket as they dripped down her cheeks. The air became still and nothing but Trubel's quiet sobs could be heard. She had no idea how long she had been there but eventually, she heard the sound of sirens and several police officers rushed over to her. As gently as they could, they managed to pull her away and remove Nick's body. As she sat down on a bench nearby, a hand reached out and touched her shoulder. She looked up to see Hank smiling sadly down at her.

"You did what you could" he tried to reassure her.

"Is he?..." Trubel couldn't bring herself to say it even though she already knew the answer. Unable to say anything either, Hank slowly shook his head as tears filled his eyes. Silently, he sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Trubel leaned into his embrace and shut her eyes, willing herself to not believe what she knew to be the unchangeable truth.

"Who knows?" Trubel finally managed to whisper, shifting her head to glance up at Hank.

"The two of us, Renard, and the rest of the police department. I think they're trying to get hold of Adalind at the moment" Hank told her in an equally quiet voice. Trubel's heart clenched in her chest at hearing Adalind's name. Who knew what she would do once she found out about this?

"I should go" Trubel sighed to herself, moving to stand up.

"I can walk you home. Or I can call Monroe or Rosalee to come pick you up" Hank offered as he stood with her but Trubel shook her head.

"I'll be okay" Trubel lied. It was clear Hank didn't want to leave her on her own but he hadn't been given much of a choice.

"We'll find out who did this" Hank squeezed her hand reassuringly and Trubel replied with a weak smile before turning and leaving.

She wasn't quite sure how she managed it but somehow she found herself walking into the spice shop, still in one piece- Rosalee had given her a key to the place a while ago. Blindly, she let her legs carry her down to the basement. Slowly, she slid down the wall next to the stairs until she hit the floor and curled her body in on itself. She had no idea how long she sat there and cried but eventually, her throat became so dry that she couldn't even cough and her eyes had no more tears to give as relief for her heavy heart. With the last of her energy drained, she slumped down into a restless sleep right there on the floor.

* * *

Trubel awoke with a sore back and a stiff neck. She groaned as she sat up and stretched her arms upwards. But immediately froze mid-yawn when she remembered exactly why she had fallen asleep on the basement floor. Her throat closed up and her hands began to tremble as tears pricked at her eyes. Part of her wanted to believe it had just been a dream but her heart knew that wasn't, and never would be, true. Clinging to the stair railing, she managed to pull herself up to standing. From the lack of sound coming from above her, she guessed Rosalee and Monroe hadn't come in yet. She stared at all the books scattered around her, still left out from when they had been researching just a few hours previous. Her fingers brushed across the pages of the last things Nick held before he died. Before she knew what she was doing, she began pulling out more books from the shelves. She held them in her hands, flicked through the pages, and pulled them close to her chest- anything to feel close to Nick again. She surrounded herself with the knowledge that had brought her closer to someone than she had ever been before. And now it was all gone. All that remained were memories and dust.

But memories are powerful things and they eventually led Trubel to lay her eyes on a large chest tucked underneath the table. She pulled it out and pushed open the lid. She rifled through it, suddenly determined to find something very specific. But as soon as she pushed aside a pile of parchment and saw it, her heart froze. Shakily she reached in and pulled out the worn, leather-bound book.

"The Grimm family tree" Trubel whispered to herself, recalling the moment they had all first laid eyes upon it. She slowly flicked through the pages, allowing herself to become overwhelmed with the wealth of knowledge it held. Until she saw the one name she had truly been looking for; 'Nicholas Burkhart'. Her breath caught in her throat as she ran her fingers over the ink. Then she picked up the pen laying on the table next to her and closing her eyes, she took a deep, slow breath. Her grip tightened around the pen as she opened her eyes and lowered the pen towards the page. Next to Nick's name, she delicately wrote her own- Theresa Rubel.

"I will continue what you started" Trubel promised, staring down at their names sat side by side; something their owners would never do again. Tucking the pen into her pocket, she closed the book and pushed it into the centre of the table. She then picked up a few of the books scattered around her and tucked them under her arm before walking over to the stairs and beginning to climb. She looked out the windows to find that it was still dark outside, much to her relief. She left the spice shop quickly, trying as hard as she could to not look back. Once she made it back to her apartment, still filled with nothing but piles of unopened boxes, she gathered up everything she thought she would need and stuffed the books into her backpack. Everyone's face's flashed through her mind. Rosalee, Monroe and their children, Hank and Wu, Adalind and Diana, Eve... Kelly. She wondered what type of person he'd grow up to be.

"He'll be just like his father" Trubel told herself with a sad smile. Then she slung the bag over her shoulder, picked up the machete she always left stood by the doorway, and left. Never to return.

It was always her. She was always the one who had to leave.


End file.
